Don’t be overambitious when it comes to your New Year’s resolutions
Whether you have three drinks or thirty, you’re not going to get to the gym at 9am on New Year’s Day. The 1st of January should be for Sunday roasts and Bloody Marys, not for being a fledgling vegan or attempting to flood your oesophagus with all the water that you probably haven’t been drinking this year. Save health-based resolutions for the 2nd and enjoy yourself; you don’t want to ruin your big night out, or anyone else's for that matter.
Don’t spend the countdown somewhere crap
“Five more minutes,” you or one of your friends might say when you both know that everyone should probably have left fifteen minutes ago. If someone doesn’t put their foot down at this point then before you know it five minutes will turn into ten, ten will turn into twenty, and the next thing you know you’ll be counting down to 2018 in the queue for the cloakroom, or worse, on the doorstep of your host’s house. Be strict with your timings or just decide to leave after midnight - you may as well try to start the new year on a high.
Remember to eat
Yes, you’ve probably had all the salmon blinis and handfuls of mixed nuts that your stomach can take and, yes, prosecco is very filling, but quietly vomiting into your friend’s plant pot because you haven’t had a substantial dinner isn’t going to do anyone any favours.
Forget about that New Year’s Kiss
If you’ve managed to convince your partner to spend the evening with you then, providing you keep things PG if you’re in public, go nuts on the New Year’s Eve kiss front. However, if you’re riding solo for your entry into 2018, don’t spoil the fun by prowling the club, party, or dining room for a pair of unfamiliar lips to lock with at midnight.
Don’t call your ex at midnight, or at any point in the evening
Yes, that includes sending them a cryptic “x” at midnight - it’s not cute, and it’s only going to serve you with enough shame and embarrassment to leave you comatose for the whole of New Year’s Day.
Don’t come dressed in all of your Christmas garb
I know you probably want to show off all of the fashionable treats that you were given this Christmas, but if there was ever a night where someone were to spill a glass of red wine over your nice Paul Smith shirt or your even nicer suede jacket, then New Year’s Eve would probably be it. Proceed with caution.
Plan your route home in advance
Do you really think that you’re going to want to hop on the Bakerloo line, change at Charing Cross, and then brave the 20 minute walk home in the freezing cold at 4am? If you’re adamant that you don’t want to order an Uber, delete the app from your phone or change your password - on your head be it. However, if you’re more in tune with the thought processes of your drunk self then plan getting home from wherever you are with your friends in advance. A long and lonely train ride home is often the deciding factor of a disappointing evening, but a £50 cab fare split between four is money well spent.
Don’t bother thinking about how your evening could have been better
Regardless of where you are or how your evening turns out, try to remember that the more emphasis you put on New Year’s Eve, the more disappointing it’s likely to be. That’s why it’s one of the only nights that it’s acceptable to do somewhat questionable things like cry in a stranger’s arms or go out in Hackney. Leaving any expectations at the door is almost certainly the best way to have a good time this year, even if you fail to heed any of the above advice.